New Bits! Vol. 2

From "Open Mic from Hell" at Comedy House NOLA

This past December, when the Dirty Sports Podcast traveled to New Orleans for our live 1000th episode, the plan was always to stay through Sunday so I could see my Giants lose to the Saints. But eventually I decided to stay through Monday because the club that hosted the podcast (and my two headlining standup shows), the fantastic Comedy House NOLA, does a super fun open mic to start the week called the Open Mic From Hell.

The “mic” is run by the mayor of NOLA comedy, CHNO’s booker and #DS1000 guest, Chris Trew, and the rules as as explained by Chris on his Medium page are this:

“The premise is simple — anyone can be on the show (that’s the “Open Mic” part), but nobody knows what they are going to do on stage (that’s where “From Hell” comes in). Also the order is randomized so nobody knows when they are going on stage (more “Hell”).

When your name gets pulled, you have to make a choice: do a brand new set on the spot (based off words from the audience) or do a challenge set. Challenge sets might have the comic do their regular routine but they have to do it outside or backwards or as a famous movie character or while goofy sound effects punctuate their words.”

Well, Pete Cestaro and I arrived to the club, put our names in the bucket and watched the “Hell” ensue. The first comic who went up was a 20-something white kid. He wanted to just run his set, so the “guest Hellraiser” (Comedian Trixx), said he had to do it as a black comic and it was then I knew we were in for an interesting night.

When my name was eventually pulled, I decided that I wanted to do a brand new set and I got my three word suggestions from the crowd. They were: gingerbread man, thumb and negro (that last one, not surprisingly, was suggested by Trixx.)

I thought what I managed to pull off was pretty good, especially considering those suggestions were dicey at best (and racist at worst). Trixx obviously agreed as after my set he was very complimentary and after the show immediately asked me to open for him in Vegas this past weekend.¹

Since December I have considered many times whether I should share this set on my Instagram or TikTok, but could just never pull the trigger on posting a clip where I repeatedly say negro (even if it was suggested by a black guy!) But that’s the beauty of Substack…if it’s behind a paywall, did it actually happen? Is anyone really gonna spend $5 a month just to cancel me? Let’s hope the answer to both those questions is: NO.

So here you go, my set from Comedy House New Orleans’ famous Open Mic From Hell…enjoy!

**Cue the paywall break!**